Helping You Love Yourself into Success and Less Stress! Multi-Dimensional Stress Management Part IV: Some Mental Strategies by Ilenya Marrin, DSS HOME FREE NEWSLETTER PRODUCTS SERVICES ABOUT ME TESTIMONIALS RESOURCES CONTACT Stress Management Remember that some stress is healthy and keeps you motivated to accomplish your goals. You want to eliminate unhealthy, excessive stress with excellent stress management approaches. The following tips are highlights of many possible ways to begin a natural stress management program in your life. Making small changes in the multiple dimensions of your consciousness -- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually -- can greatly increase your relaxation and improve your stress management. Mental Strategies This is a rich vein to explore - a gold mine ready to yield many stress management nuggets! Change Your Words for Stress Management What you think, how you talk to yourself, and what you say out loud to others has an incredible impact on how you feel. Your mental habits -- those thoughts and words that you use every day -- have a huge impact in determining your emotional response patterns. Changing the way you think and talk can dramatically improve your stress management. Here are just a few stress management tips to get you started in finding any lumps of coal (habitual negative thought and speech patterns) -- and transforming them into diamonds (positive patterns) that will help you relax and enhance your stress management approaches to life. Stress Management Success with Positive Talk When you find yourself thinking or talking of problems and failures, turn those statements around for dynamic stress management results. You can actually train yourself to make positive statements by crafting affirmations and repeating them many times. Soon, you'll find yourself correcting yourself in your daily conversations too. These microscopic changes in your daily thoughts and speech will have a large stress managment payoff after a few weeks of consistent practice. Affirmations for Stress Management An affirmation is a statement in the present tense, "owning" or "claiming" what it is that you want as an outcome or goal. For instance, when you're preparing to purchase a new house, you can tell yourself with enthusiasm, "I am now enjoying my lovely new home." Or, if you are working on your stress management levels, say something like, "I am calm and relaxed, even the midst of challenging activity." If you're dealing with a stormy relationship, try, "I am centered and calm, loving myself into harmony and peace. I am responding to (name of person) with peace and loving." In using positive statements like this, you create new pathways in the language centers of the brain, making iit easier and more natural to focus on the positive, and easier and more natural to remain calm, objective and less stressed. Your stress management results should improve with consistent use of this technique. Expand Your Options and Your Horizons for Stress Management Some people refuse to make positive statements, feeling that they are "lying to themselves." The way I look at it, when you make an affirmation statement, you are giving yourself a new and more positive option that will serve you (and your stress management goals) far better than your previous approach. Which way will you be happier, healthier and more effective in caring for yourself, your family and your work? 1) Speaking from your pain, fear, frustration and self-judgment and staying in your limited beliefs? Or 2) speaking with positive conviction of the reality you are now creating, with courage, confidence and compassion, expanding your beliefs about what is possible and probable? For good stress management, you will want to let go of limiting viewpoints and stretch into a larger, happier and more peaceful vision of your life. For Best Stress Management, Don't Should on Yourself Eliminate the "shoulds" from your thinking and speaking. Shoulds are judgments, each one a waste of your valuable energy, and they sabotage your focus on stress management. Saying "I should," implies a condition rather like driving with the brakes on, which is just the opposite of good stress management. The most likely implication is: "I ought to (because someone else says so, or I think someone else thinks so) but I don't really want to." Do you often tell yourself, "I have to" or "I must"? Unless someone is holding a weapon on you, there is very little you actually must do. Switch your thinking and speaking. Clarify What You Want for Stress Management When you hear yourself saying, "I should," take the time to clarify and decide what you really want. Then say, "I want to," or "I don't want to." You are more honest with yourself and you are mentally free of judgment in that statement. The energy you free up is the energy of conflict and stress being released. This is a powerful stress management tool, freeing you from an unexpressed "bind" in your mind. When you say, "I can if I want to but I don't have to," you are taking charge of your outlook and your decisions. You are taking responsibility for your choices. You are no longer in a "one-down" position mentally, and a whole layer of stress and struggle can melt away. Paying close attention to your words and thoughts and reframing them more clearly is a powerful stress management technique. Stress Management Key: Focus on Gratitude Complaining magnifies your attitude of stress and derails your stress management program. Instead, practice gratitude. Make a habit of giving thanks for all the good things in your life. If you hear yourself complaining, find at least one good thing about the situation and express your gratitude for that little morsel of goodness. Make a game of finding as many good things as possible in every situation. As you make a habit of gratitude, you'll be smiling more and your stress management will improve in short order. Analyze and Evaluate for Stress Management Another valuable approach for stress management is to use your logical, analytical skills to evaluate the stressful situation that you are dealing with. List the important factors. List your various stressors, such as a demanding or chaotic job, difficult relationships with family members, or various financial issues. Usually stressors will fall in the broad categories of career, heath, finances or relationships. It may help to mentally scan these areas of your life to identify triggers for stress. Drill down to figure out exactly what microscopic aspect of your job or other situation triggers the most stress. You may not be able to change your whole job, but you may well see some solutions for a small aspect of it. This will make your stress management efforts practical and doable. Brainstorm Practical Stress Management Solutions For each major stressful area of your life, brainstorm with yourself or friends and family. What could you do differently so that you would experience less stress and more relaxation? As I said above, really get down to the detail level. Write down your ideas. Evaluate which ones you actually could implement. Pick one and do it consistently for long enough to be a fair trial. Observe your results. This is your personal stress management test. If necessary, modify your approach. If you try a strategy once and don't get results, don't give up. Examine yourself. What else could you do to change inwardly to make this response more effective, to get the stress management outcomes that you want? Remember, you can't control the people around you. If you try to manipulate them, they will sense it. They will usually resist or cause more disturbance. So work primarily on changing your own inner responses and let your new attitude and behavior lead others into greater cooperation. Again, your stress management will improve, you'll feel calmer and happier. Go to Multi-Dimensional Stress Management, Part V: Some Imaginative Strategies.

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