Helping You Love Yourself into Success and Less Stress! Multi-Dimensional Stress Management Part III: Some Strategies for Managing Emotions by Ilenya Marrin, DSS HOME FREE NEWSLETTER PRODUCTS SERVICES ABOUT ME TESTIMONIALS RESOURCES CONTACT Stress Management Remember that some stress is healthy and keeps you motivated to accomplish your goals. You want to eliminate unhealthy, excessive stress with excellent stress management approaches. The following tips are highlights of many possible ways to begin a natural stress management program in your life. Making small changes in the multiple dimensions of your consciousness -- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually -- can greatly increase your relaxation and improve your stress management. Strategies for Managing Emotions Mental relaxation is a key for stress management, espeically when it comes to managing stressful emotions. Mental relaxation registers as peace, contentment and general happiness. These are neutral states. For stress management, if you can, just allow yourself to slide mentally into that neutral, peaceful place. Your breathing will slow and become deeper. You might feel slightly warmer. Your emotions will be neutral or calm. You might feel an underlying sense of joy even while being quiet. Since we're not born with an owner's manual describing stress management, many people have either forgotten or never learned how to do this. If you don't already have a natural way to access this inner place of peace and calm, then use some of the other practical stress management strategies -- physical, imaginative, mental or spiritual -- that I suggest, and let a sense of peace and contentment be an end result. Be an Objective Observer for Stress Management You can also cultivate a relaxed sense of peace, contentment and quiet happiness by becoming an objective observer of your life. When you can simply watch the ebb and flow of action without judging the downs as "bad," or the high, positive times as "good," you will be practicing an excellent stress management tool. You will not be struggling to achieve and hold onto the "highs." Don't worry, with this stress management approach, you can still go for excellence and enjoy the positive outcomes. In fact, you will most likely savor more positives because you won't be spinning into negative emotions with every bump in the road. (I write about this extensively in my ebook A Way of Loving Intention.) Being a neutral observer of myself is one of my top personal stress management secrets! Breathing Practices for Stress Management To improve your stress management abilities as an observer, practice being more objective by focusing on your breathing. Simply pay attention to the flow of air, or the rising and falling of your abdomen as you breathe naturally. Whatever thoughts are going through your mind, allow them to be present, but keep your attention on your breathing. Another stress management breathing practice is this: breathe in to a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale to a count of 6, hold for a count of 2. This stress management technique will help you focus and come to a place of calm and less emotional stress. With consistent practice, you'll be able to use either of these stress management breathing techniques when you find yourself in stressful situations. For instance, when the boss is demanding, and you feel your adrenalin and blood pressure rising, keep listening, but focus on your breathing. Remember your stress management focus. Keep your breaths slow and steady, and your emotions should steady. You'll be giving yourself time to respond from your loving heart and clear mind, not just your stressed out, defensive emotions. What About Stress Management When Emotions Are Out of Control? What about the times when emotions erupt despite your best intentions? If your emotions are spiraling out of control, don't panic. You can be in the middle of an argument or a tearful outburst and remember, "This is human, this is a natural part of learning and growing." A great stress management practice is to look at your negative or uncomfortable feelings in a neutral or positive way. As part of your stress management in the moment, remind yourself that those emotions are providing feedback about your life. At the very least, your negative emotions are helping you learn "what you don't want," or what doesn't work very well. Observing yourself and your emotions with loving kindness is a quick way to achieve the stress managment that you desire. You may also feel better after an emotional outburst because you have released a lot of negative energy and thoughts. You may have temporarily worn out your emotions, the same way you fatigue a tense muscle group. Look to Improve Your Future Stress Management This is a great time to look toward future stress management. While you are relaxed and calm, observe the situation and your own emotional triggers so you can do an even better job with stress management the next time. A big stress management key from my viewpoint is this: If you "lose it" emotionally, be gentle and kind with yourself and come back to a focus of peace and self-loving as soon as you can. Stress Management by Forgiving Yourself Next, do you want to focus on how to stay relaxed and calm? That's an end goal of most stress management programs! Here is a powerful stress management key. Love yourself, and forgive yourself for any judgments you've held against yourself. Whatever is going on emotionally, self-judgment only makes you feel worse. Let it go. Laugh about it if possible! Move on. Learn what you can, and do better the next time. But for effective stress management, get out from under your own judgments fast! For detailed instructions on the stress management technique of self-forgiveness and how to use it, refer to my ebook, The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out. Go to Multi-Dimensional Stress Management, Part IV: Some Mental Strategies.

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