Helping You Love Yourself into
Success and Less Stress!
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Stress Relief from the
Inside Out, Part V:
Simplicity of Having
by Ilenya Marrin,
DSS
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Stress Relief
Simplicity of
Having
In Part I of this series we briefly explored the Stressed
Out Lifestyle. Part II applied a simple concept to gain a bit of altitude in
observing your stressful situations.
Looking at life as composed of
three things, being, doing and having, (see the table below) provides an
uncluttered foundation for exploring stress in your own life. Wally Minto,
author of the Alpha Awareness Results Book, shared this idea with me in
1981 and I've adapted it for cultivating the power of personal peace.
Part III addressed the benefits of giving yourself time for simply
"Being," and Part IV set forth a way to provide stress relief by prioritizing
your "Doing." This article, Part V, offers a way to simplify your "Having" for
greater stress relief.
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| Being |
Doing |
Having |
Breathing
Observing
Understanding |
Working
Giving
Receiving
Spending
Time
Spending Money |
Peace
Love
Joy
Truth
Happiness
Health
Wealth
Relationships
Things |
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Having for Stress Relief
Now here
is the rub. Most people most of the time think that by having the items in
column three, they will be happy. So they spend their energy to work, to
give and receive, and their time and money to get the things and
qualities they so desperately want.
How often have you thought along
these lines: "I really want that new SUV; it will make life so much easier and
more fun; it will solve my problems." You buy it and end up with higher car
payments, plus higher gasoline and insurance costs, all of which shove the
pleasure of ownership over into the stressful pile.
In the end, buying
the new SUV is just buying a thing. It may solve some practical problems, but
it does not and never will provide anything more than very temporary happiness.
On a lesser level, you want new clothes, decorator items for the home,
toys for the kids, upgrades for computers, entertainment centers, appliances.
Having More Often Means More
Stress
These come with more than just a financial cost. Clothes
require washing or dry cleaning, ironing and mending, hanging up to maintain
their usefulness. Electronics and appliances demand installation, then you must
learn how to operate them. Toys have to be fixed, re-batteried, cleaned and put
away often.
If you don't stay on top of "maintenance" of your things,
they turn into hundreds of small stressors pulling on your energy and blocking
stress relief.
I've seen relatively affluent families with homes full of
junk. They have so many possessions they don't begin to know how to maintain it
all. They periodically hire an organizer to come in, clean up and sort out, and
then, typically, they revert to chaos and clutter.
They may have a few
weeks of stress relief after professional help, but they are not changing the
fundamental inner attitudes that promote and allow this stressful
disorganization. Chaos returns to the environment.
Do Your Possesions Run Your Life?
A beautiful
young woman once told me how she finally learned to take care of her clothing.
She could never find what she wanted when ready to go out, and often had to
wash and iron at the last minute. She said, " I was tired of having my clothes
inconvenience me." If your possessions are controlling or inconveniencing you,
it is time for some sorting from the inside out so that you claim control of
your life again.
Having Health and
Wealth Requires Investment of Time and
Energy
In order to "Have" health and wealth, you must do
the things that bring you health and wealth, like eating wisely, exercising,
saving and investing. In order to "Have" healthy relationships, you must
cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself as well as those near and dear
to you. If your outer environment is chaotic, it's very difficult to focus on
exercise, building wealth, and maintaining the clear and loving communication
needed for a mutually happy, secure relationship.
What Are Stress Relief Solutions
Related to
"Having?"
First, you need to observe that the top four qualities
in the "Having" column above really belong in the "Being" column. If you switch
your thinking so you acknowledge and cultivate awareness of these as qualities
of your being, you will move ahead in stress relief rapidly!
Think
about it. Loving, joy, peace, truth are intrinsic to who you are in your
essence. They are a part of your fundamental being. They may at times be hidden
by the filters of your personality and perceptions, but that's just part of our
human process. Sure, we get upset, angry, hurt, sad or frustrated, but we move
back to learning, growing and loving. We move in and out of awareness of
loving, joy, peace and truth.
But you can simply intend or choose to
live those qualities. Through intention and focus, you can allow yourself to
exemplify them regardless of your outer circumstances. Through intention, you
can live in awareness of these as your core beingness, more and more! Based on
this observation, we can revise the columns like this:
Revised
Categories
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| Being |
Doing |
Having |
Breathing
Observing
Understanding
Peace
Love
Joy
Truth |
Working
Giving
Receiving
Spending
Time
Spending Money |
Happiness
Health
Wealth
Relationships
Things |
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Look Inward for Balance and Stress
Relief
When you look inwardly for Peace, Love, Joy and
Truth, you stop looking for those qualities in the things that you have or
think you need to have. You realize that things are only things. Connecting
with universal qualities such as inner peace lets you keep the "Having" level
in perspective and balance for greater stress relief.
Even
relationships, as wonderful as they can be, can never provide that fundamental
level of inner Peace, Love, Joy and Truth that we all seek. Looking outward for
these qualities will not provide stress relief.
I left Happiness in the
"Having" column because I note that you can create and promote a
good deal of happiness by doing good works, thinking happy thoughts, and
spending your time and money wisely. You can also allow happiness by
turning within to your essential qualities of Peace, Love, Joy and Truth and
let happiness bubble to the surface and spill out into your life.
Once
you have some inner connection with items from the "Being" column, and you have
used your observation skills to explore and set your highest priorities, you
are ready to tackle clearing up and releasing the things that no longer serve
you.
Guided by your peaceful inner knowing, you can get busy with your
own method of creating order, or hire help (coaching, counseling) if you can
and you need it. Then you can create stress relief in your home and work
environment.
Just Clean Up and Clear
Out
for Stress Relief!
On the other hand, you can
just plunge in and clean up your "stuff," your possessions that are
contributing to stress. You will feel better temporarily just seeing your desk
top again, or the family room floor, etc. But then use that clear space in your
environment to reflect inwardly and gain the awareness you need to sustain this
new way of living for stress relief!
The final article in this series
will provide a summary of Being, Doing, Having stress relief strategies from
the inside out. For my blog featuring commentary on how to love yourself into
success as well as stress relief, check out my
Loving Your Success Blog.
Go to
Stress
Relief from the Inside Out: Part VI: Flowing with Ease and
Grace |
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Copyright
2005 Ilenya Marrin, Power Of Personal Peace. Stress relief, stress reduction,
stress management, inner peace.
73 Prim Road #115
Colchester, VT
05446
Info@powerofpersonalpeace.com
www.powerofpersonalpeace.com
http://lovingyoursuccess.blogspot.com
Phone: 802-658-2921 |